Today is Sawyer‘s sixth birthday. That’s six years since she’s gained her wings. Six years since I’ve seen her face. Six years since I kissed her cheeks. And six years of memories made without her presence here on earth. Lastly, six years spent with Pops.

Every parent knows that feeling when you see your first born. That immediate sense of love and protection. The amazing reality of seeing this child you and your spouse created. Those memories are forever stapled in my mind and I will never forget that. She was our first born, the child that made us mom and dad forever. I felt all of that with here and I cherish it so very much.

I was just telling Brandon the other day, when I think of her it’s almost always a happy and grateful feeling. How blessed am I to feel that way? He agreed. I think it’s a testament of our faith in our God but also evidence of our daily decision to be grateful for what blessings we have. I have moments when I feel sad and I cry sometimes, as anyone would imagine but I love that most of my feelings about her are happy.

Every year we bake a cake for her so that my kids would know of her life and we would have something to be happy about and celebrate on her birthday versus the alternative. Beau has been so excited to bake this cake for “big sister Sawyer’s” birthday. Every February, we wait for her tree to bloom. This years crazy cold snap that came through a few weeks ago threatened our beautiful blooms. Today, on her birthday, most are beautiful and perfect. A few didn’t quite get there but most are just what I love to see!!