The Ups and Downs: Raw Emotion

Since being here I feel like it’s just a roller coaster of emotions. Brandon and I have been through some very difficult challenges but obviously this is seeming to be extremely difficult. I have never been in a place where I feel anger like I do on and off through this. Seems very unfair really. I think this situation is so different because this is not just a situation that I feel impacts me. This is something that is greatly impacting my daughter and I can’t seem to make it stop. That is by far the most gut wrenching feeling.

I see pictures of her from before Tuesday and just want to go back. I want to go back to when everything was ok still.

I know we are strong and I know we are faithful and I know that I can’t stay in this headspace for long. We move in and out of it already.

Brandon and I have already discussed what we will make sure life is like for Demi assuming her vision is completely compromised. So far the information we have been given here seems to be headed down that road. We will raise a strong, independent, confident, faithful, happy and definitely loved little girl who won’t believe she is at a disadvantage. We are determined God still has bigger, better plans for us.

Praying today gives us some better information with a little more insight on our future with our daughter. Praying for understanding of Gods will just a little more today. Praying for strength for all of us. Praying for moving forward with a plan and figuring out our potential new path with Demi. I say potential because I still whole heartedly believe God has the final say and He can still completely restore her vision if that is his will.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Tamron says:

    Jordyn, yall are strong, Demi is strong. And it’s hard to feel it now, but God picked her for a reason. I felt all these things when we were flown to Boston with Luke. We had a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby for 7 days. ONE dr appointment then turned our world upside down and we were going to heart surgery!!! Roller coaster of emotions as well. It’s ok. It’s ok to be angry, it’s ok to question but know that God got you girl. I repeated over and over to myself that Luke was given this because God knew HE could handle it. Now it’s my job to toughen up. Our situations and surgeries are totally different, however Kirt and I are here if yall need anything. To chat. Vent or cut your grass, whatever. We are praying for yall!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rose Sibley says:

    Stay strong in the Lord he is in control and know that prayers are answered. We will be praying for this sweet baby and your family
    God Bless

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sheila & Willis Blackwell says:

    I have read your posts and feel the raw emotions but also feel the great strength you have in the one who guides all our paths. I KNOW God has a special plan for precious Demi. He will make a way no matter what that path will hold! I know as I am a 3 year Survivor of Breast Cancer! There are many standing in the gap for you, Brandon and Demi! Thoughts and prayers are with you..

    Liked by 1 person

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