Since being here I feel like it’s just a roller coaster of emotions. Brandon and I have been through some very difficult challenges but obviously this is seeming to be extremely difficult. I have never been in a place where I feel anger like I do on and off through this. Seems very unfair really. I think this situation is so different because this is not just a situation that I feel impacts me. This is something that is greatly impacting my daughter and I can’t seem to make it stop. That is by far the most gut wrenching feeling.
I see pictures of her from before Tuesday and just want to go back. I want to go back to when everything was ok still.
I know we are strong and I know we are faithful and I know that I can’t stay in this headspace for long. We move in and out of it already.
Brandon and I have already discussed what we will make sure life is like for Demi assuming her vision is completely compromised. So far the information we have been given here seems to be headed down that road. We will raise a strong, independent, confident, faithful, happy and definitely loved little girl who won’t believe she is at a disadvantage. We are determined God still has bigger, better plans for us.
Praying today gives us some better information with a little more insight on our future with our daughter. Praying for understanding of Gods will just a little more today. Praying for strength for all of us. Praying for moving forward with a plan and figuring out our potential new path with Demi. I say potential because I still whole heartedly believe God has the final say and He can still completely restore her vision if that is his will.