The month following our miscarriage our OB approved us to move forward with our plans of starting a family. So what do you think happened?
Another positive pregnancy test! I couldn’t believe it! I never imagined things would go this quickly for us. The date was August 22, 2014 and I had a sneaking suspicion I may be pregnant. I waited for Brandon to leave for work and there it was! A big, fat positive! I quickly gathered that onesie from the previous surprise and had a friend monogram it with “Pops Littlest Best Friend.” The story behind this is that my nephew, Huntley, referred to my dad, Pops, as his best friend. So I thought it would be cute to monogram that and use it as a surprise! I ran by Brandon’s office after having lab work drawn and kept my little secret. I came home and put the onesie and the positive pregnancy test in a bag and waited for him to come home.
While I was waiting I was feeling so excited but scared at the same time. This time I was scared for a completely different reason. Now, I knew that this baby was exactly what I wanted but I was so scared that I could potentially lose this pregnancy. I prayed and prayed so much! The anxiety and fear immediately clouded my mind. I had to work so hard to fight off all of the negative thoughts and energy that was consuming me. It was hard, but prayer is exactly what got me through this.
Brandon came home from work, opened the bag and he was so excited to pull that onesie out! I’m sad to say I didn’t record this one! We embraced one another and rejoiced over this amazing news. Brandon had bought me a journal for the last pregnancy that I hadn’t had a chance to write in. So I decided that I would immediately write to this baby in it! I referred to the baby as our “miracle baby” and told the baby how much we were ready for this moment and immediately couldn’t wait to meet them. I wrote about everything until that very moment and it was all addressed to the baby.
My birthday had just passed so we invited our immediate family over for cake and all. We decided that I would open my “gifts” and I pulled out the “Pops littlest best friend” onesie and as soon as everyone saw that, crying and cheering erupted! We waited a while for a social media announcement! We were headed to Disney and thought that would be a good time! So I made a little sign and we announced it there! Now that our family knew I felt better this time around. I was already further than I had made it the previous time and we had an ultrasound with a heartbeat! So things were looking up, but I still battled with being worried or fearful from time to time. I had to continue to remind myself to do what I could, control the things I was able to and leave the rest to God. This was tough, but I just stayed persistent with it.
The week following Disney and our announcement, we had an ultrasound and waited to find out the gender with friends and family! I had a feeling it was a girl and Brandon thought boy! We had the party store stuff a pumpkin with colored confetti and we opened the pumpkin to reveal we were having a girl!! We were sooooo excited! I immediately started planning everything for her!! We named her Sawyer Grace and all of our plans we really setting in place at this point!
The pregnancy was cruising along and things were pretty good. I battled a little nausea in the beginning followed by some headaches that I swore were sinus headaches, but they weren’t. Around 20 weeks is when I first felt our sweet girl move! It was a moment I could freeze in time and repeat over and over again. It was literally the sweetest feeling. I was loving being pregnant and had even told Brandon around 28 weeks or so that he was in trouble because I liked it so much that we would for sure have a few!! He seemed to like that I said that! It was cute!
Brandon had been thinking about all of the big events that come for a daddy and daughter. He literally thought of these things every single day. For exampled, I know he thought about her first dance, prom and even her wedding! He couldn’t wait to spoil her and dote on her! He even wrote in her journal how God would have a big role in her life and that she had the “BEST guardian angel.”
We kept our focus on our faith and trusting that God’s plan for us would unravel one beautiful baby girl in just a few short months.