I was talking with a friend the other day in depth about Demi and her needs. In that conversation a light bulb went off. I even told her how that conversation helped me realize so much about myself and Demi. I didn’t see it coming, it just happened. God puts people in your life for reasons and conversations happen on purpose and this was one!!
I realized that everything I have gone through in my life has prepared me for Demi. I know I have been through a lot, people say it to me often. I get it. Every single hardship I have experienced has led to personal growth, increased faith and a better outlook on Gods plan for my life. I wouldn’t be who I am, the mother I am without every single step.
Until 2013, I really hadn’t been through many difficult challenges in life. Since then I would consider I have walked through many. The loss of my dad increased my faith, took away a fear of death and dying, revealed just how tough and mentally strong I am. His passing also allowed me to see how fortunate I was for the way my parents raised my sister and I. They raised us to speak up for ourselves, to never accept defeat, to believe that we could literally do and have anything we wanted and to surely not take anything less than perfect from anyone else.
Losing Sawyer in 2015 rocked me so hard but knowing my dad was in heaven welcoming her helped so much. I know that Sawyer helped make me a more patient and loving mother because there isn’t a moment that I forget her and I am so thankful for my children here with me on Earth. So much more to say here but I have explained it in a previous blog post.
When our house flooded in 2016, it was much harder than I anticipated. We went from having our own safe space where we could release any emotions in any moment, have discussions that were important to keep private and figuring out how to raise a 5 month old in our own home to living in a home with two other adults and sharing a room with our 5 month old. This was extremely challenging for us. You don’t realize how important having a place to decompress is until you no longer have it. No fault to anyone else in the situation, they did their best to accommodate us but the truth is.. it’s was impossible under those circumstances. Once we moved back home, things slowly became normal again but I learned so very much. I learned to have an extreme amount of patience and grace for my husband. He is probably laughing at this but I am definitely more patient and have learned a lot.
All of this brings me to June of 2019. The month that rocked me to my soul in a way I never imagined. Every day I am understanding more and more as to why I am so important for Demi, as she is for me. I fight for her every day. There isn’t a day that I’m not working behind the scenes for her. Meaning making phone calls to whoever I need to so that I may be Demi’s voice. If I just sat back and waited for things to be done for her, there is no way we would be where we are. I’m a very persistent and thorough person and when it comes to her, it’s on a different level. I honestly don’t know if anyone understands the lengths I go to for Demi besides Brandon.
I have come to understand that she is not only such a blessing to us but we are to her as well. We have some challenges ahead but there isn’t one single challenge that we will not defeat.
Demi’s surgery is approaching and we are more than ready! I’m ready to see what we can do for her. I am optimistic and hopeful. I believe God will reveal some amazing things for us. Demi is doing so incredibly well with therapy still! She is so strong. The joy this girl gives me is unreal. Each new accomplishment for her is over the top! We are so proud!