Tonight while preparing for bed, Beau was having a 3 yr old melt down about his leg and hand hurting. He often gets growing pains so it’s not totally abnormal. He wanted medicine. I was holding Demi, asleep, all while he was carrying on. Of course all things crossed my mind.. is he really hurting? Is he over tired? Is he needing some attention from mommy because his world has been rocked in the past 7 weeks? Then Demi began to fuss. I was frustrated. I did everything in my power to avoid giving in to his tantrum. I stood my ground in some ways through this but also cut him some slack. We skipped our usual “potty before bedtime” because he flat out refused – so yes we may have an accident tonight- oh well. I then walked him to his room. I gave him some medicine and began to massage his little leg and hand all while nursing Demi. We prayed together. I just sat there and felt so thankful for my screaming children. I never forget that I lost a child before I had these two and moments like this remind me that loving on my babies is what I enjoy most in life. No parenting/child life lesson is more important than showing my babies compassion and love. I will have plenty of opportunities to put my foot down and this was one just wasn’t necessary, so I didn’t.
While massaging his leg and hand, Demi made a noise and Beau calmly said, “Mommy, I want you to get out of my bed.” – Let me state that Beau has been strictly sleep trained to go to sleep alone. So the Demi whining in his bed while switching sides to nurse was just a little to disturbing for him!- Just like that I’m reminded how fast this all goes. How fast needing mommy can fade. Even though my 3 year old will need his mommy for a long time, this moment resonated so loudly.
So tonight I go to bed proud of my mommy skills and thankful for my sister who also gave me some reassurance through it all.